Adoption

“Mom, I’m pregnant.”
“You’re WHAT?”
“I’m pregnant.”
“This can’t be true. Are you sure?”
“Yes, I’ve seen a doctor.”
“What are you going to do about it?”
“I’m going to have the baby and I put up for adoption.”
“You have no obligation to go through with this. We could arrange an abortion.”
“I don’t want an abortion. I’m going to have the baby.” We were sitting in a restaurant having dinner when this conversation took place. If anyone had told me that our daughter would get into this kind of mess, I would have questioned his sanity.
She was a college student, intelligent, a loving, all-around wonderful person. In my wildest dreams I never thought this would happen to her.
I told my husband. He had a difficult time accepting it too. Her sibling knew and was supportive. The next call was to her doctor. He confirmed everything and said was in perfect health and would probably have a normal delivery. Then I telephoned an adoption agency. That was the most difficult part. An appointment was set up for our daughter and her husband and me. I was afraid my husband would fold at the last moment, but he didn’t.
We talked to a gentle and compassionate woman for over an hour. She assured us the baby would be placed in a loving home with parents who had been waiting for a child for many years. She made our daughter feel good about her decision and praised her mature judgment.
The ensuing months were a challenge. We gave our daughter a great deal of love and emotional support. The adoption agency provided excellent counseling to prepare her for the trauma ahead. We all went through the process of dealing with grief. The denial: “Was this really happening to us?” The guilt: “What did we do wrong?” The anger: “Why us? So many young women do the same thing and get away with it.” Out of the whole process came the acceptance of what we couldn’t change.
The birth was a difficult one, but the baby was healthy, alert, and beautiful. I wept as I held my first grandchild in my arms. I knew she would not be mine for long and I dared not become too attached to her.
The new parents were ecstatic when they came to the hospital to claim “their” baby. There were many tears, hugs, and kisses as they left with their daughter in their arms. They promised to give her the best home ever, and I’m sure they will keep their word.
Our daughter is back in college, making excellent grades, and is happy and well-adjusted. I now understand why she could never consider abortion. Why didn’t I think of it before? It should have been obvious. She herself is an adopted child.